I imagine....

Sometimes when I have a hard time sleeping I think about our child as if we had given birth ourselves and from the time we started to trying to conceive until now.  Art and I started trying to conceive November 2009 so "our child" could have been born September 2010.  He/she would be just over a year now and celebrated their second Christmas.  So much would have changed.  There probably would have been no Enja, no horse barn built, horses at home, probably not even any goats, and no rabbits.  I do not even know if I would have switched jobs, I may have just sold my car and got a simple cell phone and maybe just stayed home or work just part time.  There is no way I would have became a Big Sister for Big Brother/Big Sister and probably no Sunshine Acres.  It really makes me think what would have not happened in our lives and that makes me realize that God does have a plan.  He knows what he is doing and we have to trust him and give him our hearts and let our faith guide us.  Don't get me wrong I had many great thoughts and ideas with this fictional baby.  How great the holidays were and summer fun outside in the garden and spending time with friends and family.  It just made me think how full our life is with the animals and our volunteer work and that we feel a sense of fulfillment by our time volunteering.  I can not wait until the day we have a family but God knows we have a ways to go to be financially, educationally, and career wise before a baby and/or kids enter our lives.  I know you are never financially prepared for kids but maybe God has other plans and we have to just trust him t guide us.....As the New Year approaches I want to be more positive and fill this void with prayer, church, and more service because we all know that once this baby and/or children come that there may not be as much time to do it as I would like.