Busy, Busy, Busy

I thought being busy would help, now the party is over and I am sitting here realizing I am no where closer to receiving "our angel" then I was 7 months ago when we were first placed on the adoption list.  I sat at my kitchen table crying realizing this could be it, it could be just Art and I forever.  If that is the way it is going to be then I want to know, I want to know now so I can be prepared.  I love my husband very much and fall more in love with him everyday, he is my rock but I want to know.  I see more and more celebrities are adopting, maybe these birth mothers will start to come out more and more but we are not celebrities so will they choose us?  Maybe it is time to embrace that we will be the best Aunt and Uncle our nieces and nephews can have.  I mean our area has not seen many infant adoptions in a year now and our agency only keeps adding prospective parents not placing infants.
As I sit here I know this can not be it for me, I will go crazy.  I will not just be a Nurse Assistant, I want to do something from home where I am happy with my husband and animals.  I don't know what is going to happen or how or when but this can't be it, I want more and will make it happen somehow!